The Absentee's Alphabet

 A is the Auntie who will come to tea;  
B is the Bed that won't release me.  
C is the Car-we do need fresh air;  
D is the Dinner just Mom can prepare.  
E for Extremes-too high or too low; 
F for my Feelings-when they're right, I go.  
G is the Garden much nearer God's heart;  
H is my Husband, who won't play his part. 
I for Intruders who sit in my pew;  
J is for Jokes which tires me so much;  
K is for the kooks that block my way out, they make me so mad sometimes I could shout.  
L the old Language, it's so out of touch;  
M is for Money, they always want more;  
N for New tunes I've not heard before.
O is for Overtime, double on Sunday;  
P the Preparing I must do for Monday,  
Q the Queer noises that come from the singers of the hour;  
R is the Reverence they never inspire. 
S is for Sermons, as dull as can be;  
T for the Television we really must see.  
U for Unfriendly, no welcome I find. 
V for the Voice of that woman behind.  
W is the Weather, too cold or too hot.  
X for Excuses, I've got such a lot.  
Y for the Yells from the kids left behind.  
Z is for Zeal, which is what I can't find!